O Brother, Where Art Thou?
by emebalia
Summary: "This human was probably my only chance to get out of Purgatory. Better not letting him get killed." Dean and Benny in Purgatory, Benny's POV. Warning: A vampire's mind is a dark place. Nothing explicit, no slash. *complete*
1. Chapter 1

**O Brother, Where Art Thou?**

Purgatory. It brought out the monster in us. While we had wandered the earth we all had preyed on humans one way or the other and at the same time had tried to hide among those very same humans in constant fear that one day the hunter would became the hunted. We had been wolves in sheep's clothing.

Here in Purgatory there was no need for that. No sheep here, just wolves. And we preyed on each other.

I hated it. Hated the endless forest and the everlasting twilight which was only interrupted by pitch black nights. The constant looking over my shoulder. For half a century I had managed to stay alive in this afterlife. Most didn't survive the first week.

I missed the sun. For a vampire it must be kind of odd to miss the sun but I did. On bright days I'd needed sunglasses to go outside and still the sun had stung in my eyes and on my skin. I'd have done anything to feel that one more time. But there was no sun in Purgatory. No light, no warmth.

In the fifty years I'd been stuck in this place I had never given up hope to find a way back. Back to the sun. But the only thing I'd found was a human only loophole.

God or whoever had built this shithole had created it as a prison for monsters. It wasn't a place for humans and I'd never seen a human or even heard about one in Purgatory. However, the existence of that loophole alone told me that it was possible for a human to take the wrong turn on his way to Heaven or more likely Hell and end up in Purgatory. So I memorized the location of the portal and the spell I'd need to hitchhike a ride out. Just in case.

Compared to eternity fifty years wasn't that long but I had almost given up hope to see the sun ever again when the rumors started. Rumors about a human in Purgatory.

First I dismissed them. Probably some poor sap who had been turned into whatever recently and had a run-in with a hunter before he'd even made his first kill. Wouldn't last long anyway. Not in Purgatory.

But the rumors persisted. Had come in with an angel, they said. I'd never heard of an angel before either and even if they existed shouldn't they be in Heaven or something? Purgatory wasn't a place for humans but it was even less a place for angels. Apparently the human and the angel didn't stay together but about both I heard rumors whispered in the wind.

With nothing else to do and the slight hope that it really was a human I decided to check it out. It took me a while to track that thing down which maybe was the reason it was still alive after a few weeks.

Fresh human blood wasn't rare in Purgatory, it simply didn't exist. You could dream of it, remember the taste on your tongue but you'd _never_ get it here. So when I finally found that thing that everybody was talking about I wasn't surprised to find two of my own kind already there.

I caught the scent and my instincts ran wild. Oh brother, that scent. Fresh and alive and human. The human's heartbeat drummed in my ears and I had to fight the overwhelming urge to sink my teeth into that warm flesh. Taste the sweet blood.

While I fought to pull myself together the human had managed to defeat one vampire.

"Where's the angel?" He demanded with a knife at the vampire's throat. I'd have been impressed if I hadn't been fighting my own instincts. The blood was right _there_.

"I don't know." The vampire got the knife to his arm for that which pinned him to the tree behind him and then the human beheaded him with his own weapon.

When a second vampire got the drop on the human I finally managed to suppress my instincts. This human was probably my only chance to get out of Purgatory. Better not letting him get killed.

Clenching my own weapon I threw myself at the other vampire. Surprised by the attack the vampire didn't stand a chance. Adrenaline mixed with that scent right next to me. I bared my fangs and with one quick blow the other vampire went down. For a second I feared that I'd lose control so I didn't dare to turn and look the human in the eye.

When I finally did turn my teeth were still descended but the human was no longer in immediate danger from me. However, it looked like I was the one in danger from the human.

Keeping his distance and holding his weapon in a way that meant business the human circled me and I had to mirror his movements to avoid getting attacked.

"What, no thanks for saving your hide?" I asked in the most comradely tone I could manage with the scent of fresh blood in my nose.

"Sure. I won't shove this up your ass."

The human didn't just jump at the opportunity to get out of this place but I gave him points for listening to my offer. He could have tried to kill me instead.

I didn't know what I'd expected. A weak thing maybe that would crawl under my wing, seeking protection from the first monster that offered it. Not this human. He was wary, careful and he clearly didn't trust me. Good, that would help keeping him alive a little while longer.

The human quirked a smile at me and stopped circling.

"First we find the angel." He had his own agenda and he didn't look like that point was negotiable.

"Mm, three's a crowd, chief." The last thing I wanted was a delay. It would be hard enough to keep this jackass human alive long enough without looking for stray angels.

Giving up his fight stance the human stepped closer and rested his weapon on his shoulder. Without fear he looked me in the eye.

"Well, hey. Either you're in or you're out." He repeated my own words.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

"Better get moving." The human said and turned as if he expected me to just follow. "The dead meat will draw out the scavengers soon."

The human had a point in that and I hurried to catch up with him.

"Any idea where to find that angel friend of yours?" Not that I liked the idea of wandering through Purgatory searching for an angel. I'd rather go directly for the portal but the human seemed determined to find that angel first. How did a human end up with an angel anyway?

"Heard rumors." The human said without slowing down. "Somebody might have seen him in the south."

I had found the human the same way so I had no reason to complain but I didn't have to like it either. We fell silent for a while and I had time to study my new friend. Young and healthy, his heartbeat came in a steady rhythm that didn't increase even after a couple of minutes of speedy walking. With the overwhelming scent of fresh blood in my nose I fought my instincts and suppressed the urge to sink my teeth in the human's neck.

"Watch it, Alucard." The human looked at me over his shoulder, weapon loosely in his fingers but a death glare on his face. "I'm not your Happy Meal."

I kept my mouth shut to not show my teeth. The human didn't seem to be afraid of me and judging by the way he moved and handled his weapon he was a trained fighter. Not what I'd expected but I could work with that.

"Name's Benny." I finally said when I had myself under control again. The human looked at me hard clearly considering if he should give up a piece of information or not.

"Dean."

The human – Dean – didn't offer more information and kept walking instead.

"So … Dean." I stepped up so that we were moving shoulder to shoulder now. "How does a human end up in Purgatory? You didn't die, did you?" He was pretty much alive, every nerve in my body screamed in delight at the living heartbeat right next to me. Oh yeah, Dean was alive.

"Didn't feel like dying. More like teleporting." He sounded like he knew the difference but didn't care to elaborate.

"How's that, brother?" The next thing I knew was that my back connected with a tree, hard, and the blade which had taken a vampire's life just minutes ago cut uncomfortably into the skin of my throat. Dean was right in my face.

"I'm not your buddy. I'm not your friend." Dean leaned closer and the pressure from the sharp weapon increased to painful. "And for sure I'm not your brother."

With one last shove Dean let go of me and turned away.

So much for weak and helpless human, I thought and rubbed my throat.

"You're a hunter, aren't you?"

"You figured that out by yourself, Sherlock?" Dean didn't even bother to look back and I had no other choice than to follow him if I didn't want to lose him.

Thinking about it, it made sense. Hunters tend to play with fire and sometimes they got burned.

"Heard you came in with that angel friend of yours." I prompted. Dean wasn't much of a talker, I had gotten that by now, but I was curious.

Dean didn't answer, however, the visible tension in his shoulders told me too keep my mouth shut. None of my business, I guessed.

We walked for what seemed to be hours but it was hard to tell with only two light-settings, twilight and night. Dusk and dawn only ever lasted for a minute or so, blink and you missed it. Dean, however, seemed to have developed a sense of time in this place. On a random clearing, loosely surrounded by crippled bushes, Dean stopped and looked around.

"We should stay here for the night." He decided and settled at the bottom of a tree, back protected by the trunk. "You stay on your side and I on mine." With his blade-like weapon he gestured for me to choose a tree to lean on opposite to him.

I played along, the last thing I wanted to do was to scare the human off. Or agitate him enough so that he would kill me in my sleep.

"You want first watch?" I offered.

"Bet I want." Knees drawn to his chest and left forearm across he rested his chin on top but his eyes never left me. The grip around his blade never loosened either.

Purgatory was a weird place. I felt the thirst, and it wasn't getting better with a beating heart just a few feet way, but one couldn't starve to death. I needed to sleep, though. I could skip a night or two if I really had to but eventually sleep caught up with me. My best guess was that time didn't actually exist in Purgatory. It was more like it was the same day over and over again. Not enough time to starve to death but for sure long enough to get exhausted. Try to stay awake after running for your life all day.

I wasn't sure if I could sleep with a living, breathing human right next to me but I wanted to show Dean that I trusted him. I didn't, of course. C'mon a hunter and a vampire? That sounded like the beginning of a bad joke. But I needed to make a point. If we wanted to get out of Purgatory we needed to trust each other. At least to some point.

"Wake me in a few hours." Hoping that this wasn't my last mistake I closed my eyes and after an eternity of waiting for the final blow that would kill me for good, the heartbeat of my new friend lulled me to sleep.

I had considered myself a light sleeper, heavy sleepers tend to not wake up again, and I trusted my instincts to alert me if my new friend came closer. However, I woke up to a hand covering my mouth and somebody whispering "shhh" in my ear.

Panicking for a second I wanted to struggle free but then I recognized the human keeping me silent and I strained my ears to figure out what was going on. To our left. Something was moving.

I nodded to indicate that I had understood the situation and Dean released my mouth. Without a sound we both got to our feet and parted. Close enough to back each other up but not so close that we would hinder each other.

I couldn't see that thing lurking in the shadows and for human eyes it had to be pitch black. How Dean had managed to cross the clearing without disturbing me was a mystery to me. One I'd solve later. Now I was busy not becoming somebody's midnight snack.

Whatever it was stopped and I heard it sniffing the air. Adjusting the grip on my weapon I waited for its attack. To my surprise the thing let out a shriek and then ran off in the other direction. For long minutes I and the human stood there like statues before we let ourselves believe it was truly gone.

"Didn't want to bring it up earlier." Dean broke the silence and moved back to his tree. "But you kinda reek, you even scare off the monsters."

"You ain't all roses either." My smile was lost to the darkness and I made myself comfortable at the bottom of my own tree once again. "Get some rest, I keep watch."

Dean didn't answer but his breathing evened out after a while. However, the slightest whisper of the wind or a little shifting on my part to prevent my ass from getting numb and the human was on high alert. Dean didn't move and if I hadn't been able to hear the spiking of his heartbeat I'd have missed it but he was more awake than asleep and his eyes seemed always to rest on me.

Sleeping that way had kept the human alive so far, I got that and I had spent more nights than I cared to count like that myself, but I hoped Dean would eventually trust me enough to get some real sleep. Exhaustion led to mistakes and mistakes led to death and I kinda needed my human alive.

As soon as the twilight was back we were on our way again.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean didn't trust me. That much was obvious. Okay, I didn't actually trust him either, he was a hunter after all and I'm a vampire, but I wasn't the one who was constantly scanning the area for a threat with a special eye on my companion. Even leading the way he never let me out of his sight.

After a few days I relaxed a bit, convinced that Dean wouldn't kill me in my sleep. He wasn't past that fear. Each night he slept the bare minimum, jolting awake if I looked at him wrong. Traveling together should mean that we could get more sleep but Dean seemed to get even less than before.

You can't fight exhaustion forever and I think that was the reason that thing got the drop on Dean. Don't know what it was, ugly and fast, neither of us saw it coming. Maybe it smelled Dean's blood or it just assumed the human would be the easier target, whatever the reason was, that thing went straight for Dean. Looked surprised when Dean ducked out of the way and clipped it with his blade. Didn't keep it from tackling the human down in blind fury. Dean managed to keep it off his throat and from gutting him but it was too close to use the blade and Dean was overpowered by strength and pure insanity.

Suddenly the smell of fresh human blood filled the air. Dean's heartbeat drummed in my ears and I have to admit I ran on instincts when I threw myself at that thing with bare fangs and a growl deep in my throat.

My food, my blood, my human. Mine!

We rolled through dry leaves and dead grass and I sank my teeth into that thing's leather skin. Blood filled my mouth and it was all wrong. Dead and foul and acrid. But this wasn't about feeding, this was about killing. Claws sank into my skin holding me in a death grip but I barely noticed the pain. My teeth found the artery and with one angry growl I tore that thing's throat out.

The grip around me loosened and I rolled off the dead body and landed on my hands and knees. I spit out the dead blood till I was dry heaving but I still had that taste on my tongue and the smell in my nose.

"Benny?" Boots came into my field of vision and with them the strong smell of fresh blood.

"We should get moving." Dean tugged at my shoulder but there was no strength behind it.

When I looked up I wanted to feed on him, wanted to feel that delicate skin of his throat split under my teeth and warm fresh blood filling my mouth. It must have been written all over my face and my still bare fangs must have been hard to miss so I couldn't blame Dean for taking a step back and holding his weapon tighter.

"'m good." I said around too many teeth. I concentrated on the pain and it helped to regain control over myself. The wounds from the claws burned but I wasn't bleeding too badly so I was good.

"Let's go." I straightened and started walking. After a second Dean followed me.

If I hadn't been busy ignoring the fresh blood right next to me I'd probably made the connection sooner. Dean was falling behind and the smell of blood became more intense by the minute. Not a good combination.

When Dean finally admitted that he needed a rest he was already crashing down.

"Dean?" I turned around.

At least he had been conscious enough to not fall down like a trunk and had managed to sit down before his eyes rolled back and he collapsed sideways.

"Dean?" I shook his shoulder but all it did was to roll him to his back. Then I spotted the blood. I had the smell in my nose since the attack but I hadn't realized until now how much blood he was losing. Beneath his jacket Dean's shirts were soaked.

"Don't do this to me, brother." I muttered and peeled off the fabrics to get to the wound.

Since I'd woken up in Purgatory I had missed a lot of things. The sun for example or my Andrea. This, however, was the first time I missed a hospital with its sterility and doctors and antibiotics.

The wound in Dean's side didn't look good. It probably needed stitches and Dean for sure needed a healthy dose of painkillers and antibiotics. All I could do was to sacrifice one of his shirts for a makeshift bandage and to hope that he would survive.

I pressed the shirt to the wound and even unconscious Dean tensed in pain. Sweat covered his way to pale face. Wetness seeped through the cotton and I felt the blood wet and hot under my hand.

"Don't do this to me." I muttered again and didn't bother to cover my teeth. The blood, it was everywhere. But I couldn't have any of it. I wasn't sure if I could save Dean but if I would have tasted one drop right then I would have dived face first into that sweet blood.

_Won't let you die,_ I promised silently. _And for sure I won't kill you_. I wasn't sure if I could keep even one of my promises but I tried. I gritted my teeth, I had more than enough for that, and focused on holding the blood inside the human.

When the bleeding finally stopped my hands were red and, yes, I licked them clean. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the taste. After an eternity without fresh human blood but the ever present want, the need for that living blood I lost myself in it. Mind blowing, a feast for my senses beyond words. They say there's nothing better than the first drop of human blood on your tongue when you feed for the first time after you've been turned. They are wrong.

I had to step away from the still unconsciousness human to not finish the job. I'm glad Dean didn't see me fighting my instincts.

Dean woke up shortly after that. He groaned but didn't dare to move just yet. With his fingertips he inspected the bandage and then carefully rolled to his side and sat up.

"You patched me up." He said and sounded surprised.

"Can't let my only ticket outa here die, right?" I answered, fully aware that it was quite possible that he would die from that wound anyway. Or from something else. Lots of deadly things in Purgatory.

"How did you manage that without snapping?" He asked with a frown.

"Don't ask."

He grunted in pain when I pulled him to his feet and I had to steady him to keep him upright but after a dizzy minute he nodded and set one foot in front of the other. And then the other one. Did that in grim determination for the next hours. Left foot, right foot.

After the first few steps he muttered "Keep your frigging hands off me." and I backed off. Stayed close enough to catch him if he fell, though. He didn't. He staggered and swayed and after a while he dragged his feet but he kept moving.

In the end I had to draw his arm over my shoulder and steady him around the waist but he insisted on walking farther. He didn't complain about me half carrying him. I didn't really know him back then but even I got that that wasn't a good sign.

He was so close, his heartbeat like a caged bird, high and rapid. The smell of his blood had become old and crusty which was a good sign, he hadn't much to spare by then.

When we came to a creek I decided this was the best place we'd find for the night. And for the next few days because it was obvious that Dean wouldn't walk from there in the morning. If he survived the night.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean did survive the night. And the following day. But it didn't look good for him. When I checked the wound it was angry red and hot and smelled of infection.

During all that Dean lay there, back propped up against a tree, and was more out than actually there. One time when he was awake he smirked at me.

"Sorry for crashing your hopes of blowing this joint." He grimaced in pain and his breathing was harsh. He knew his chances weren't good.

"Your not dead, brother." I used that word to reanimate his anger, his will to survive but he just shook his head and added: "Yet." I had nothing to say to that and we fell quiet for a while. The next time I looked at him his eyes were closed and his cheeks were flushed with fever but beneath that he was waxy pale.

Even before I'd become a vampire I had no business with treating wounds and after I got turned it was more about inflicting wounds than healing them. I was kind of at a loss there.

It was late in the day, night couldn't be far away, when I build a small fire. Making a fire in Purgatory usually was a bad idea. The predators, and everything there was a predator, didn't fear fire. Quite the contrary, it was a beacon for them, a blinking billboard leading them to the feast.

I needed this to be done before nightfall. Thanks to the matches I'd found in Dean's pocket, he didn't even stir when I searched him which wasn't a good sign at all, I had a small fire burning quickly.

Then I took the knife Dean was carrying. It looked old. Smooth buckhorn handle, sharp blade covered with markings I'd never seen before. I doubted this was an ordinary knife, carried by a hunter it probably was a very special knife, but I had nothing else for the dirty work.

While the blade slowly turned red-hot in the fire I loosened the bandage and washed dirt and blood off Dean with water from the creek we were resting at. I would have liked to boil the water first but I had nothing to hold it so this had to do.

"Doesn't look good, brother." I murmured but Dean didn't hear me. Good. Better for him to not be conscious for what I was about to do.

I rolled Dean to the side so that I had access to the wound. Sitting on his hip and holding his shoulder down with my left hand I made sure to secure him just in case. Then I reached for the red-hot knife.

The flesh sizzled like bacon in a frying pan and it smelled just like that. Of course Dean didn't stay unconscious. He bucked beneath me and nearly threw me off. He screamed.

"It's okay." I tried to reassure him. "Over in a second. It's okay."

I had to do it right the first time so I readjusted my hold on him and tried to blend out his agonized screams.

It only took seconds to burn out the wound but it felt like an eternity. Finally I threw the knife to the side and released my hold on the human. He curled into himself and the screams turned into hoarse words and that was worse.

"Please." Dean whispered between broken cries. "No more, please, Alastair, please, no."

"It's over." I laid my hand on his shoulder and I felt him trembling, from the pain or the fever or something else entirely I couldn't tell. As gently as possible I bandaged the wound. When I was done he had lost consciousness again and I let him rest. Nothing else I could do.

I put out the fire and cleaned the knife and then I sat next to Dean while around us night fell. With the night came the hungry things. I caught glimpses of red eyes and movements behind the trees. If the fire had lured them to us or Dean's screaming didn't matter. All night I stayed alert, ready to defend myself and the unconscious human at my side but the attack never came. They backed off at dawn but they didn't go far. I still heard them, circling us, waiting. I never really saw one of them but I pegged them as little predators or scavengers who waited for me to show any weakness or to abandon the human. The latter was something I had thought about during the dark hours of the night.

_He's going to die anyway,_ I told myself. _Fresh, human blood, take it before it turns to poison. Drain him and then leave the leftovers for the scavengers._

They would have been busy with the corpse and not bothering with me, I knew that. It didn't help that Dean stayed deathly still most of the night. Once or twice I had been sure he was dead but then I caught on his heart again which stubbornly kept beating.

I closed my eyes for a second and made a decision. Dean's chance to survive was slim but he wouldn't die by my hands. Or teeth or whatever.

In the morning Dean was burning up and I cooled his face with a wet cloth. When he was conscious enough for it I fed him water from my cupped hand.

"Tough fellow, aren't you?" I wiped his face which seemed to help him a bit. "Gotta get the fever down or I'll have to dump you in the creek to cool you down." I threatened but he didn't response.

His eyes moved under closed lids, more likely in delirium than dreaming, I guessed, and his lips formed soundless words. I couldn't make out actual words, however, one he repeated often enough to read it from his lips: Sammy. I didn't know who that was but whoever he was he was important to Dean.

"Hang in there." I told him over and over again. "Hang in there for Sammy." I was desperate enough to grasp at every straw I could get.

His fever didn't break and around noon I dumped him in the creek. The water wasn't warm to begin with, to him it had to feel like ice water. Thrashing and screaming he tried to escape but he was too weak.

"It's okay." I pinned his arms to his body and hold him still. "Just a few minutes. Just a little bit longer."

He screamed for Sammy to help him and begged someone named Alastair to stop and I hold him close and whispered in his ear that everything would be okay. I felt like the biggest liar on Earth. Or in Purgatory.

By the time I got us out of the creek he was out again and we both were soaked to the bone but he felt cooler to the touch and I hoped the fever had finally broken.

The third night since Dean had been injured awaited us. I had been awake and on alert way too long, I was exhausted and freezing and I had to fight to keep my eyes open. The critters were back, closer now. They circled us, all red eyes and whispered movements in the dark.

At some point my eyes fell shut and I just couldn't bring up the energy to open them again. Guess it didn't take them long to figure out we were easy prey.


	5. Chapter 5

Animals, like a pack of wolves, would have gone straight for the weak one, the injured one, the nearly dead one. Not these critters. Like all of us in Purgatory they used to prey on humans. And humans tend to protect their weak ones. Humans want revenge.

They had been watching us for a while now and they must have figured out that I was protecting Dean. They could kill Dean easily but I could take down half of their pack before one of them even had the chance to gorge one bite.

They were smarter than that.

Pain. I woke flailing with a scream on my lips but I was buried under furry bodies. Teeth like needles on my throat, claws tearing through my clothes seeking for flesh. Just slightly bigger than rats, however, the sheer mass of them pinned me down. I ripped one off my throat but had two others taking its place instantly. Bones crushed under my fingers and with one last shriek one of them died.

I couldn't sit up but I could roll. With both hands I fought against the critters trying to rip my throat out while I rolled from one side to the other dislodging the quicker ones from me and crushing the slower ones under me.

It didn't matter how many I killed, there were more. The ground must have been crawling with furry bodies with me as the center. Their teeth and claws were everywhere. I kept fighting but I knew I was done for. There were just too many. They'd rip me apart, eat me alive.

"Son of a bitch!" The voice was rusty and nearly lost in the high voices of my attackers. Then the critters were scythed off me in a mess of blood and fur. Enough for me to get to my feet. And with that the critters had lost. Stomping them in the ground and with Dean swinging his blade like a scythe they lost their advantage and fled into the night.

I caught one, sank my teeth into the squirming thing and drained it. Foul blood filled my mouth and I tried to ignore the fresh human blood right next to me. Dean's heartbeat drummed in my ears and all I wanted to do was to tear his throat out and drink right from the vein. I needed blood to help my body to repair the damage the critters had done but this poor little furry thing had to be enough.

"Don't look at me like I'm a juicy burger." Dean breathed harshly and sank down with his back at a tree trunk. I threw away the drained creature and swallowed against the bitter taste in my mouth. After a minute I had myself under control again and I crouched in front of Dean to look him over. His eyes were closed but the grip around the weapon stayed tight. The smell of fresh blood was in the air around him but it wasn't much and I had to wait till dusk to examine his wounds.

"We can't stay here." I said but he didn't answer. I took the time to wash off my blood, I didn't want to accidentally turn Dean, before I scooped him up bride-style and started walking. Behind us I heard the first critters returning but there were enough corpses of their own kind to feast on so they wouldn't bother following us. For now.

I am stronger than the ordinary human but Dean was a big guy and after the attack I wasn't up to full game yet. So after a short while I felt the strain in my arms and the slight stagger in my usually smooth steps. It would have been easier to throw Dean over my shoulder but that would put stress on his wound and that was the last thing I wanted to do. It was a miracle that he was still at life, no way I'd risk that. How he'd even managed to get up and fight was beyond me. He'd risk his own life to save mine. Granted, with me dead he wouldn't stand a chance on his own, not in his current condition, but I doubted that he'd been coherent enough to think that far.

He'd seen me in danger and he'd reacted. And his reaction hadn't been to run and save himself, no, injured and half-conscious he had come to rescue me. And I had no idea why.

Dawn had broken and I readjusted my grip on the still unconscious human in my arms. His fingers were still curled around the handle of his weapon resting on his chest, though. I kept walking for maybe an hour longer but when I found a small clearing protected by thick bushes and some big rocks I carefully set Dean down with his back against one of the larger rocks.

I needed a break and it wasn't doing Dean any favors to be carried around. In the twilight of the day I examined Dean's wound and it looked better. For the first time since he'd been injured I dared to believe that he'd make it.

"Stop groping me." Dean mumbled and batted my hands away.

"Just let me bandage this."

He considered that for a moment before he nodded. For the first time he looked at his wounded side and sucked in a breath.

"You burned it out." He said and I couldn't make out if he was more surprised about the fact that I did it or about the burning itself. "It wasn't just a memory." The last part was whispered and most likely not meant for my ears.

I hadn't seen any burn scars on him but I hadn't examined him farther than it had been necessary. I wondered if somebody named Alistair had something to do with that.

"You were dying." When I'd finished the task of bandaging the wound I set down next to him. "I had to do something."

"To push it along?" He even managed a smirk and shifted to a more comfortable position.

"I'm a vampire, not a doctor." I muttered and for a second Dean stared at me. Then he burst out laughing.

"Dude, Star Trek? Really?" He held his side with both hands, wincing in pain but couldn't stop laughing. For a second I had no idea what he was talking about but then I remembered that TV show. It had been fairly new back then and I'd watched it from time to time. And then I'd bit the dust. God, that was a lifetime ago.

"How long have I been out?" Dean caught his breath and leaned his head back against the rock.

"Three days. You've been in and out. Been delirious for some of it." He made a face at that. I shifted uncomfortable. "The critters had been around for a while, waiting for me to fall asleep. Guess now I've to thank you for saving my hide." It had been a close call, too close.

"You should get some rest." Dean said ignoring my _thanks for saving my life_. "I keep watch."

I wanted to argue, wanted to tell him that I was good and he should rest for a bit but I was too tired. I drifted off to sleep within seconds. When I woke up again, it was dark. I'd slept the whole day but I felt better.

I fully expected to find Dean asleep but his eyes were open and he greeted me with a "Morning, sunshine". He didn't radiated that feverish heat anymore and the smell of infection was barely noticeable.

During the night we took turns sleeping and in the morning Dean meant it was time to shake some ass.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean walked under his own steam, slowly and swaying like a sailor on land, but he was walking. I hovered next to him, ready to catch him if he fell but he didn't.

"Personal space, dude." He scowled at me and I backed off a little. Stayed close enough to prevent him from taking the nosedive, though, just in case.

To keep his mind off the pain he was clearly in I started talking.

"What's it like?" I asked and tried to keep an eye on Dean who was walking hunched over in front of me and on our surroundings at the same time. At day surprise attacks weren't that likely but we could get attacked any second.

"What?" The question came sharper and more quickly than I'd expected. Good, he seemed coherent for now.

"The world." I clarified. "I left the stage in the sixties, the world must have changed." I'd dreamed of it, had stayed nights awake thinking about what might had changed and what would still be the same.

"You've no idea." Now Dean shook his head in amusement.

"Tell me." This had started as a way to distract him but now I wanted to know. Would I still recognize the world or would it be like that TV show we'd talked about the other day? The fact that Dean still knew that show told me that there had to be things that hadn't changed that much.

"What do you want to know?" He reached for a tree trunk to stabilize himself and I pretended not noticing it. I stepped a little closer, though.

"Dunno, ehm. Where to start? What kind of car do you drive?"

Dean chuckled. "Ow." He clenched his injured side but didn't stop chuckling. "Dude, don't make me laugh."

I had no idea what was so funny about cars. Probably they'd shared the same fate as carriages and everybody had his own airship by now. Or something.

Finally catching his breath Dean answered my question. "She's a '67 Chevy Impala."

Trying to keep a straight face he waited for my reaction. To me that was actually a pretty new car, for him it had to be a classic. Okay, that was funny.

"You're a fan of classic ladies?" I finally said. A man and his car, that didn't seem to have changed.

"They douched up what they call cars nowadays." He took a careful breath and started walking again. "Rolling crap of plastic that thinks it's smarter than you."

For the next mile or so he rambled about cars. I understood only half of it but that wasn't the point. The point was to keep him distracted, focused on something else than the raising pain. And the pain was raising, that much was pretty clear. His breath became more labored and he dragged his feet from one stumbling step to the next. But stubborn ass he was, he just kept walking.

"Time for a rest." I finally forced him to sit down on a fallen tree which was alarmingly easy. He sat there, elbows resting on his thighs, one hand dangling lifeless between his knees but still holding his blade with the other one.

"Who's Sammy?" I asked out of the blue. I had two names from his delirious fever dreams I was dying to ask about and I went for the one sounding more safe first. Sammy. Friend, kinsman or even a lover I had no clue, someone important to Dean that was for sure. I was curious and Dean was in a talkative mood for once.

"It's Sam." He corrected me. "He's my brother."

"You were asking for him." I prompted when Dean didn't continue.

"I've been pretty much out of it, haven't I?" With a sigh he rubbed his face. "What else did I say?" He tried to play it casual but I could hear his heart racing.

_What secrets do you keep?_, I wondered but didn't ask. Instead I said with a shrug: "You were asking for him, for him to help you."

"That's it?" He breathed in relief but must have sensed something because the next second his shoulders tensed and he watched me out of the corner of his eye. I wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been that badly injured. However, that injury didn't stop him from noticing that I was holding something back.

I shifted uncomfortable. "You mentioned somebody else. Somebody named Alistair." I tried not to think about his hoarse pleading with that Alistair for stopping to hurt him.

"I must have been really out of it." Dean's voice was barely a whisper.

"An old enemy?" I guessed and for a long minute Dean just stared in silence at his feet but I heard his heart beating borderline to panic. I'd never pegged him for being scared easily but that name alone brought him close to a heart attack. He did mask it well, though.

"Hell's chief torturer."

"Oh." I said because I had no idea what to say. It implied so much and didn't say anything at all. Clearing my throat I tried to form the question in my mind. "How …?"

He shook his head and eased himself to his feet. "Pissed off the wrong people." Dean said without looking at me. "Got the chief's treatment when I went downstairs."

He started to walk away while I still sat on the log with my mouth literally hanging open.

"Wait." I stumbled to catch up with him. "Hell? You mean you've been to Hell?"

He looked over his shoulder with a smirk. "What can I say? I come around. Heaven isn't that great of a place either if you ask me." He thought about that for a second before he bobbed his head. "But I think that angel douchebag has screwed us back then."

He wiggled his eyebrows before he focused again on setting one foot in front of the other. The hunch was more prominent by now but it didn't keep him from making his way through the forest. I could only stare at his back while I tried to wrap my mind around what he'd just said.

_He's screwing with me,_ I decided. _Has to._

He was playing me. Hunters tend to see some weird things but if they died they went to Heaven or Hell like everybody else. Maybe Purgatory if they got turned into something before they died. It happened. I'd seen hunters turned monster in Purgatory before. But that was it. You end up in one of the three places and you stayed there. Maybe you manage to find a way back, I was kinda planning on that, but no way one person got to see all three places. No way.

And Dean hadn't even died yet. Granted, he didn't actually explained how he'd ended up in Purgatory either and he refused to answer more questions.

We had quite a few breaks over the next few hours and every time I thought that was it for the day but after a couple of minutes Dean got up and started walking again. In the end it was more stumbling than anything. We stopped for the night when Dean finally admitted that he couldn't walk any farther.

"You take first watch." He said breathlessly and collapsed at the bottom of a tree. I think he was out before his butt hit the ground.

I took me a while till I realized that he'd successfully dodged the questions about his history with that Alastair, Hell's chief torturer. It wasn't that hard to guess that Dean had been tortured by him but how had he ended up in Hell in the first place and how did he get out? Or was he really just yanking my chain?

Dean slept deep and without twitching and I let him sleep for most of the night. In the silence of the dark hours I still heard Dean's hoarse pleading in my head.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean made it. A less stubborn jackass would have died but Dean made it. Each day he gained more strength and it didn't take long until he was back to what I'd to assume was his old self.

The first two weeks of our journey together was all about staying alive. Then we started to slaughter our way through Purgatory with one goal. Find the angel.

Before I'd met Dean I'd lived constantly looking over my shoulder to stay alive. Now we were the ones the others had to look out for. Dean had one question and he needed an answer.

"Where's the angel?"

We didn't want to draw the attention of the big guys to us, Leviathans were the ones Dean wasn't keen to meet, but we dealt well with the average monster roaming the endless forest.

After I'd saved his life without draining him, Dean trusted me enough to have his back and after a few weeks we'd found our rhythm in the fight and everything else. Not much to do in Purgatory than to run for your life or hunt down the other monsters and we were good at it.

Usually we didn't talk much. Too busy straining our ears for the soft rustle in the bushes or the dry cracking of a branch that would indicate another monster near by. Another thing that wanted to kill us and would answer Dean's question instead before he would kill it.

I've seen some ruthless creatures in my life and afterlife, I'd once been one myself, but the ruthlessness I saw in Dean, a human, kinda scared me sometimes. Purgatory brought out the darkest sides in us but Dean was extreme. Not unnecessarily brutal, he didn't draw it out or enjoyed the killing, no, he was cold and efficient. If he decided to ask his question he would get an answer. Always. Some even begged for him to kill them in the end. Made me think of Hell. Maybe Dean hadn't been exaggerating, maybe he really had been there. Had picked up a trick or two downstairs.

But sometimes, when we'd settled down for the night but weren't quite ready to sleep yet or when we walked for hours through mostly open terrain where we felt more or less safe, Dean started to talk.

Then he sometimes got this dreamy expression and talked about his brother who he called Sammy and who was Sam to me. Always light stories, funny things that made him smile or sometimes even laugh.

"Sure hope to meet the famous Sam Winchester one day." I said after one of his stories. Apparently only Sam could wear a purple shirt with a white dog on the chest and still get the attention of a pretty girl. And totally miss it.

"You will." Dean promised. "He can show you the wonder that's called internet." He added with a grin. I'd no idea what he was talking about so I just nodded. A lot of the things Dean mentioned I didn't recognize but that was okay, there lay half a century between us, of course there were things out there in the world I'd never heard of.

"He can show you the basics and I'll show you were to find the good stuff." He nodded to himself, pleased with his plan, then stopped dead. "Man, I hope they don't delete my account on bustyasianbeauties."

The last word was a rattled mash of words which didn't make any sense.

"It's porn." He explained when he noticed my puzzled expression. "If you're not into Asians, that's fine. Plenty of other stuff out there. I'll show you some shit you haven't thought of in your wildest dreams." He stopped again, turned around and pointed with his finger at me. "Just to make this clear. I'll show you where to find the good stuff, we're not watching it together."

"Whatever you say, chief." I hold my hands up in mock surrender. I wasn't exactly sure what he had in mind but I was pretty sure that I didn't want to mix Dean and porn. Just no. Even the way he talked about it made me cringe. Apparently "a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell" had become a thing of the past since I died, if you could consider Dean a gentleman, that is, because Dean now went on with his war stories of the horizontal kind.

"Stay away from waitresses from Tampa, I'm telling you man, they're evil and not in the good way." He shuddered at some memory and then changed the topic. "You know what I miss most beside the sex?"

_Sammy_, was the answer in my mind but I didn't say it. He would never admit how much he missed his brother but the way he sometimes talked about him nearly broke my undead heart.

"Food." Dean declared instead. "What would I give for just one big, juicy burger." He licked his lips and closed his eyes with a wishful sigh. "There was this diner, Connor's Diner, they had the best burgers in St. Luis, hell, best burgers in the state."

"We'll go there as soon as we get out of here." I promised. It was a good way to pass the time, dreaming about the things we'd do as soon as we had left this shit-hole behind. "It's on me, I'll buy you the biggest burger they have."

Now Dean looked really sad. "They closed a while back."

I sensed a whole story behind that little statement but the moment was over and Dean fell silent again but it was a comfortable silence.

After a few hours of light-hearted chatter it was only a matter of time until things went downhill. I should have known that but it still got me by surprise.

We'd heard about a large nest of vampires in the east and we tried to get around them through the south, no point in getting killed in a fight we couldn't win. Dean was ruthless but not stupid and neither am I, we knew which battles to pick. But sometimes the battle picks you.

We were on our way through a sparse forest when five or six vampires were coming for us. Guess we'd attracted the attention of the nest anyhow. Dean and I shared one quick glance and then took of running. Two against six, not the best constellation but not the worst me and Dean had faced either and we were still around. However, if we could split them up, lose the slower ones for just a few seconds it would redound to our advantage. Didn't work out the way we hoped for.

Ever been on a battue? The six behind us were the beaters and we were the pray. They drove us right were they wanted us, into the arms of the rest of their nest.

Dean came to a skittering halt and I nearly barreled into him. Out of the trees came more vampires. With the ones behind us they formed a wide circle around us. We had stumbled into their trap like dumb cattle.

"Son of a bitch." Dean muttered under his breath. "Not good."

Eyes fixed on the vampires surrounding us, we fell into fighting stances, back to back with our weapons loosely in our hands. This was about to get bloody.

One of the vampires spoke: "You're still pretty."


	8. Chapter 8

"You're still pretty." The words were directed at Dean spoken by a man, clearly the leader of the nest, with a round face, curly hair and murder in his eyes.

"Still not playing for your team." Dean replied easily but I felt the tension radiating from him.

"Friend of yours?" I asked eyes not leaving the vampires surrounding us. We were screwed. The vampires hadn't moved yet but one word from their leader and they'd be all over us.

The way some of them looked at Dean I wondered if the hunter had been the reason for their early death.

Dean looked around and locked eyes with them.

"I've killed you before." He confirmed my suspicions. "I'm not alone this time, we'll kill you again. For good."

Two actually took the hint and avoiding their leader's eye they made a run for it, leaving the rest of them with an uneasy expression on their faces.

Curly hair didn't really notice, his attention was on Dean.

"I made you one of us." With a frown he looked Dean up and down. "You are here in monster's hell and still you're not one of us anymore."

Wait, what? Did he just say that he'd turned Dean? Dean had been a vampire? Was that even possible?

Storing that little piece information in the back of my mind I tightened the grip around my weapon. There would be time to talk about that later. If we survived the next few minutes, that was.

As if he'd read my thoughts the leader roared the command to attack.

Like us they weren't only armed with teeth but the way they hold their weapons most of them weren't actually skilled with the blades. Guess a large nest like theirs scared most monsters away with their number alone. They didn't seem to have to actually fight that often and mostly relayed on their natural weapons like teeth and strength. That was the only reason Dean and I survived the ambush.

We slaughtered our way through vampires and seconds later we were covered in blood. Screams and grunts filled the air and the ground became slippery. I took a few hits and cuts but I hold my ground pretty good. I was busy with two of them who actually knew which end of the blade to grab when I heard Dean scream.

Curly hair had managed to tackle Dean to the ground and they were rolling through bloody mud. Dean had lost his weapon and the vampire was about to rip his throat out.

"Dean!" I threw one of the dead vampires' blades in his direction. The distraction was enough for my attackers to get the drop on me. I didn't see if Dean got the weapon, if he was still alive or not.

One vampire hurled me around and while I tried to struggle free the other one drove his blade up to the hilt in my back.

I don't know if I felt pain. I remember staring down at that thing, an ugly serrated blade, suddenly poking out of my chest and then everything went dark.

Pain, raw and brutal, ripped me awake. Something was tearing my chest apart and I howled and bucked but it only got worse. Somewhere was a voice and I think there were hands on me but everything was consumed by the agonizing pain exploding in my chest and back. After an eternity I lost consciousness again.

When I woke up for real the pain was bearable, still borderline to agony but bearable. I was in a half sitting position with my back against a tree trunk which should have made breathing easier. It still felt like I was inhaling crunched glass.

"You with me?" Dean came into my line of view and crouched in front of me.

"What happened?" I asked or at least I tried to. I tasted my own blood.

"You don't look so good." Dean said without humor. The look on his face alone told me that this was bad. Really bad.

"I couldn't carry you far." He leaned forward and checked the makeshift bandage that hadn't been around my torso before. "Got the blade out, though."

I nodded as if his words made any sense. "The vampires?" I asked.

"Dead." Dean tugged my shirt into place. "Most of them, the rest ran. I dragged the bodies away, that should give us some time."

If he expected me to walk out of this place I'd have to disappoint him.

"Should have seen it coming." I managed to say and this time the words actually sounded like words.

"Not your fault, you saved my ass." Guilt washed over his face.

"Don't run into more old friends." I managed a smile. "Won't be there to save your hide next time."

"You're not going to die." He tried to sound confident but his eyes betrayed him.

"Were you going to tell me you've been a vampire? Thought there was no way back." I changed the topic. With my mind becoming a little bit clearer I smelled his blood so close to me, heard his heartbeat drumming in my ears. I wasn't sure if I could hold myself back but my injury pretty much had put me out of commission. And I really wanted to know and this was my one and only chance.

"There is a way back." Dean said and sat down next to me. I couldn't hold back my teeth anymore but he just ignored it. Couldn't have reached him anyway, the few inches separating us were way more than I could handle at that time.

"As long as you don't feed. One drop of blood and you're done for."

My sluggish mind needed a moment to comprehend that. A newborn vampire ran on pure instinct. Even after years of working on my self-control I struggled more often than not to not feed on Dean. For a newborn it seemed impossible to hold back like that. On the other hand, Dean was a stubborn son of a bitch.

"... yeah, you know, I kinda needed his blood." Dean had kept talking but I couldn't keep up with his words, pain and the need to feed consuming my mind. "Went downhill pretty fast, just like today."

"You're still here." I tried to show him the bright side but I was choking on my own blood which kinda ruined the effect.

"You're still here, too." He reminded me softly.

With the pain clawing through my chest with every breath I wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

"Dean." I shifted into a hopefully more comfortable position. I bit back a scream and nearly blackened out. "I won't make it, we both know that." I had to pause to catch my breath. "But you can still get out."

"Benny, no."

I caught his wrist and squeezed hard to get his attention. I felt the bones grind under my hand but Dean didn't make a sound.

"Listen." I grit my teeth and bit back the pain and then I told him where to find the portal. Let him repeat the directions twice just to make sure.

After that we sat in silence for a moment. Speaking had exhausted me and gray crept into my vision. Won't be long until I would lose conciseness again.

"Dean, before you go. Please." It was more harsh breaths and grunts of pain than actual words but Dean waited patiently until I could speak again. "Don't leave me to get eaten alive."

My body didn't have the energy to recover but I couldn't die either. I'd be helpless prey for the scavengers.

"I'm not killing you."

"Please, brother."


	9. Chapter 9

I closed my eyes. Every breath tore through my body turning my chest into a bloody mess of hot agony while I couldn't really feel my arms or legs anymore. Everything was centered in that hole the blade had ripped through me.

Dean's heartbeat drummed in my ears and the smell of blood was heavy in the air. For a second my mind was clear enough to wonder how badly Dean had been injured but all thoughts drowned in blinding pain a breath later. There was only agony. And the need to feed. My body screamed with every cell for blood and I fought my instincts to not launch for Dean. Not that I'd have been able to actually reach him.

I think I begged for him to end it.

"How much do you need?"

The question didn't make sense. I blinked and slowly turned my head enough to see Dean.

"Blood." He answered my unspoken question. "How much do you need?"

I still blinked at him in confusion, trying to figure out what he was talking about. He didn't mean what I thought he meant, didn't he?

"I can't ask that from you, brother." I wanted it, I needed it. But feeding on Dean? Even with my sluggish mind I refused to do that. I'd rather die.

Despite my protest Dean already had his knife in hand and was about to cut himself.

"You're not asking." Suddenly the smell of blood was there. Close, alive, there. "I'm offering."

My instinct of self-preservation kicked in and ignoring the pain I went for the blood with bare fangs and a growl deep in my throat.

The sudden spark of pain caused by the movement nearly knocked me out but it cleared my mind at least for the moment.

"I would kill you." I panted but he brought his cut forearm closer to my mouth. Against all instincts I drew back and fought to gain control over my vampire side.

"You won't." Dean locked eyes with me and with that his bleeding wrist touched my mouth. I pressed my lips together and tried to turn my head but with his other hand Dean hold my head firmly in place.

"I trust you."

The blood was on my lips, the rich smell in my nose and every nerve in my body vibrated with need. And with that I lost every self-control I had.

I drank. I fed. I gorged.

The little voice in my head screaming for me to stop was just a faint echo in the back of my mind. Lost in Dean's rapid heartbeat I fed.

_He won't stop me._ The realization hit me, hard. Dean wouldn't stop me. He'd said he trusted me and he'd let me drink him dry to prove his point. That thought sobered me. Instantly.

"Enough." I pushed him away. Falling back I felt the blood streaming though my body, my veins. Finally the pain abated and I could breath again. It wasn't enough to repair all the damage and I wanted more, needed more, but it was enough to bring me thorough.

For a moment I just lay there and let the pain fade away. Becoming more aware of my surroundings with every minute I noticed that Dean wasn't hovering over me.

"Dean?" I sat up slowly.

Dean lay next to me, pale and with beads of sweat on his forehead.

"Dean!" What had I done?

For a long second I thought he was dead, that I'd killed him after all. But then I caught the faint beating of his heart.

"What were you thinking?" I muttered and checked the fresh wound on his wrist. The cut was now ragged by my teeth and was still seeping blood but for once it didn't trigger my instincts. On Dean's thigh waited a more or less clean cloth already folded so it could be used as a bandage. He must have used something from one of the dead vampires.

Dean had planned this. He'd seen how damaged I was and he'd planned to let me feed on him even before I'd told him where to find the portal out of Purgatory. That was ... I didn't have words for that.

Carefully I tended his wound and waited for him to wake up. His heart was the only thing existing in my world now. With every weak beat I feared it would be the last.

After endless minutes he stirred. His eyelids fluttered and a soft moan escaped his mouth and I breathed easier.

"You with me?" I asked and his eyes focused on me. A smile ghosted over his face.

"It worked." His voice was barely a whisper and he didn't move for another minute or so.

"It worked." I couldn't deny that. "What were you thinking? I could have killed you."

"You didn't." He closed his eyes and then pushed himself in an upright position. He swayed but caught himself. Panting he let his head hung.

"We should get out of here." He said when he'd caught his breath. "Too many dead bodies around here."

Mostly healed I was the one who got to his feet first. Dean took my hand and let me help him to stand up.

"You alright?" I asked and had to stabilize him around the waist. The fact that he let me was proof enough that he wasn't alright.

"Dizzy." He admitted which wasn't a surprise with the blood loss.

"You need some water and a place for the night." I hoped that would be enough. "You'll feel better in the morning."

I more or less dragged him through the forest for the next hours until I felt safe enough to stop. Then I watched over him the whole night while he slept like a rock. He did look better in the morning.

After a night without sleep and my body still recovering from the injury I shouldn't feel that alive but I did. We could do this, together we could get out.

"Let's find that angel of yours, brother." I offered Dean my hand to get him standing. He took it.

"Let's do that." Dean looked at me, still too pale but with a grin on his lips. "Brother."


End file.
